A Tale of Two Cities; or "Meanwhile in Montreal"
Montreal vs. Vancouver
In one of the many possible incarnations of our living arrangements for this year, I planned to come to Montreal for three months, from November to January, and then go back to the west coast. Depending on the variation, I planned to return to either Vancouver or Victoria.
Which means I'd be back there now.
But, no.
I'm still here!
I have traded popping crocuses in gradually warming sunshine for temperatures in the double negative digits (plus wind chill!). Exchanged sea front strolls for trudging through dirty, slushy three-foot high snow banks to cross the street.
I was okay with it in January. It was an adventure. It proved I could hack it.
This week, as we've waited for the fourth snow removal of the year, which as it stands will not happen before the next dump of 15cm hits us tomorrow, I have wondered, "HAVE I LOST MY FRICKIN' MIND?!"
Side note: the "snow removal" process is completely separate from the regular plows that theoretically "clear" the streets. Really, all they do is push it all into a monster drift at the end of each block, burying bikes, bags of garbage, fire hydrants, and perhaps small children as they go.
"Snow removal" is a whole production that starts with six tow trucks with orange flashing lights and blaring horns, announcing the imminent arrival of: 1 monster plow, 2-3 huge trucks to carry the snow away, 2 sidewalk plows, and a sucker/blower truck.
The purpose of the first six trucks is to let you know to MOVE YOUR FRICKIN' CARS, or they will be towed. The first time we heard them was "Snow Removal Part Une", which happened right after moved in to our new abode on Dec 26th. The week of Christmas had been rather brutal, with a foot of snow and bone chilling winds.
Then at 6:12 am on the 27th we heard this...
**WARNING**
TURN YOUR VOLUME DOWN, or you will spill your non-fat-extra hot-no-water-2 pump-grande chai latte all over your Lulu's!
Needless to say we were like "W.T. ACTUAL. F."?!?
At first, I thought this was Montreal's slightly less scientific version of Hawaii's tsunami warning system. Then I remembered I wasn't within a bulls roar of the ocean. We opined for a few minutes that we were actually dreaming. Then they were gone, and we went back to sleep, cos well, it was 6:14am!
It wasn't until "Snowmaggedon Deux", at 8:15am two weeks later, that we had lightbulb moments, because we witnessed the whole thing!
(FYI: The City of Montreal only budgeted for five snow removals all winter. I'm not the only one who has #blownthebudget so far in 2018!)
Oh yes, only one of the many joys of a Montreal winter!
Doubts of my sanity have been compounded by the plethora of happy Vancouverites alternately complaining about the rain and celebrating the new signs of spring popping up left and right. Oh and boasting of walking to work in tee-shirts! Nice one Jessie.
(photo credit: Glenn Jay Lonbardo, Jodi Stark & Andrew Grant)
So I COULD be back on the "wet" coast. Yes, I’m going to dig that in. It may be cold here, but it is also gloriously sunny, and if you can find a spot in said sun, blocked from said
wind (aka the library I’m sitting in next to a window), you would swear it’s May.
Yes that's me, in the sun, not doing my French homework!
But I digress.
I thought that seeing as I'm here anyway, I might as well look at the realities of my situation.
The groundhog(s) both did and didn't see his shadow, depending on which groundhog you defer to. So it's basically a crap shoot as to how much longer we will get snow for! The groundhog is apparently only right 36% of the time, so really, just guess "oui ou non" and you will be more accurate than it is.
Yes, I think I will likely still be shovelling the sidewalks in three weeks when you are all mapping out the flower beds and veggie gardens. But we will also be attending Montréal en Lumierés, and skating in the inner harbour, and drinking chocolate chaud with no guilt!
The advantage of wearing massive puffy jackets a full third of the year is that for that time there is zero chance anyone could possibly guess if you were a supermodel thin or 350 lbs. Also, no-one here really seems to care. YAY for no Lulu pants and pretension on the sidewalks! Added to that, I am convinced our poor bodies need all the fat/sugar they can get to just persevere to the spring.
Which, as I mentioned, is just about guaranteed by May. So, I'll take the ear shattering wake up call of the tow trucks, the slush infused sidewalks, and the 35 minutes it takes to get out the door... putting on all the gear needed to ensure as little skin is exposed as possible.
Because, while I miss the ocean, and my friends who live near it, all the above facts mean I am here in Montreal, living a life I could not have imagined a mere twelve months ago.
Art, history and culture that the West Coast could never hope to emulate. Hell my front stairs are older than most of Vancouver!
And neither it should. It has its own flare and style (and I don't mean Lulu's!)
I trust the Strait of Georgia will be waiting for me in July. And I will fully make the most of THAT gloriousness, and revel all the more this time next year when I no longer need crampons to make it to the corner shop!
I miss thee. I shall see thee soon.
Strait of Georgia : c.Louise Kelaher